So, you've been conned on the internet and you're starting your 5 stages of grief.
I know right now you're pretty mad, that's normal, nobody wants to believe they got fooled. But it happens all the time. Even though you're MAD, make sure you're not angry at the wrong person. The messenger isn't trying to hurt you with the truth. Quite the contrary, they're trying to EMPOWER you with the truth. You have to now decide what to do with that truth. Will you absorb it, and find out for yourself if it holds weight or will you lash out at the messenger and tunnel deeper into denial?
The con-artist that you defend and call friend, please understand, you're not their friend. You're a means to an end. They're using you for credibility. You're a nice person who surrounds yourself with like minded, nice people. Seeing all the great people the con-artist hangs with/follows, who wouldn't want to join in among such wonderful people? This gives the con-artist the legitimacy and access they need and wouldn't be able to achieve without you and others like you. If they really play it right, without even realizing it, you'll bring them fresh victims or new followers for even more credibility. It's a pretty vicious cycle.
To determine where you are in the grief stages, you'll need to apply some cold, analytical logic:
If you were on the outside looking in, is it more likely than not?
Is there proof in black and white that you can see for yourself, and verify or debunk?
What does the messenger(s) gain by telling you?
What does the suspected con-artist stand to lose if it's true? (i.e., do they ask for money all the time?)
Why would the messenger make it up?
Does the con-artist (playing victim) have the worst luck in the history of the world?
Do they describe former friends and critics as "jealous haters" or "psychos"? (Friends part ways all the time, what are the chances they're all psychos or jealous of the con-artist's voo-doo curse-like luck?)
(Just FYI, internet con-artists inevitably run into people who know the truth, people that they've used and/or discarded from their past. They often describe them as "jealous haters" or "psychos". Other "jealous haters" and "psychos" that may not be fan favorites of the con-artist include, cops, judges, lawyers, probation officers, truth tellers and family members.)
If the answers to these questions leave you with more questions or feeling uneasy, you have your answer and earned your Tequila shot. I'm not saying just believe everything you're told. I'm saying if presented with information, instead of screaming in unison it's all lies, check it out yourself. Public record searches are free, and I don't care what the con-artist says about em, their "jealous haters & psychos" can't fake court documents and arrest records. Just sayin'.
This bears repeating, the messenger isn't trying to hurt you, they're trying to give you THE TRUTH. You have the right to know if you're being played and are an unwitting enabler to a soulless, morally bankrupt person. The type of person you would be disgusted by or ignore without a second thought in real life.
You wouldn't help a loser criminal snatch an old lady's purse on the street would you? Of course not. It's no less criminal if they steal the old lady's money online. Only difference, in the online scenario, you don't even realize you're helping them do it. The messenger believes that you deserve to know. To decide for yourself if this is the type of individual you want in and around your circle of friends.
Peace.
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